How Wonderful Life Is
by TheMoonProject
Summary: Remus survived The Battle of Hogwarts but the grief of losing Tonks has been emotionally crippling. Can the returning professor ever love again?


**Hello readers! So this is a Hermione/Remus pairing story and has been posted on a page that is actually a collaborative effort of several authors dedicated to this sweet pairing. We felt that there aren't enough stories out there dedicated to them and we want to change that! Everyone can have a separate page for other pairings or fandoms but The Moon Project is all about Hermione/Remus! Anyone is welcome to join, just send a PM to this page or go and find the Administrator's page (immyownsuperman), this is her separate fanfiction page. Anyway, Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP.**

**Chapter One**

-o-O-o-

The Battle of Hogwarts: May 2, 1998

Remus paused on the stairs. Every instinct, wolf or human, within him was telling him to turn tail and run. Most people would've done just that, after all, a fierce battle was being raged all around him.  
>Giants and wizards alike were throwing curses in every direction and the giants swung their bludgeons low, aiming for careless witches and wizards too busy dodging Killing Curses to notice a tree limb barreling towards them.<p>

Every one of Remus' senses were alive, his nostrils burned with the scent of smoke and fire, strong magic and the sweat of sprinting and fighting humans all around. His skin was on fire, adrenaline coursing through him and making him bounce on the balls of his feet, eager to join in or at least_ run_. But his eyes were clearer as well, and across the hall, for just a moment, he had seen a streak of black, brown and a fiery red. And although he'd caught only had a tiny glimpse, he knew that he'd just seen Harry, Hermione and Ron ducking a giant's mighty swing and sprinting out of the castle.  
>Perhaps in another time or place, Remus would've ignored it, thinking that the trio were more than capable of taking care of themselves. They'd demonstrated time and again their combined intelligence, bravery and strength. But he had seen something else as the three headed out the door. For at the last minute Hermione had turned back to look at the waging war that was destroying the Hogwarts castle, and in that quick look he had seen more fear than he had ever seen on one person. And so Remus, ignoring every instinct and thought in his body, sprinted after the trio and unwittingly changed his fate forever. <p>

-o-O-o-

Over the next few weeks Remus would wonder at his decision and his flight down the stairs. It wasn't until a few hours later that he learned his wife, Tonks, had died at the top of those same stairs after he'd left the castle to chase the teenagers. Sometimes he blamed himself. Perhaps if he had ignored the brief impulse to chase after Harry and his friends and simply climb the stairs, he could've fought alongside Tonks and saved her. Whenever he thought such things he would lock himself in his room, lay in bed and stare at the blank ceiling. But the crying of his motherless child would pull him to the nursery that Tonks had painstakingly put together and he would comfort him. But truly Teddy was comforting him. Both of his best friends were dead, and now his wife had joined them. He himself was a werewolf, a condition that plagued all of his thoughts and made it impossible for him to find a job; or even friend. Whenever he felt lonely, all Remus would have to do was look over at his son, who seemed to like to keep his a hair a shade of bright teal, and the loneliness would lessen a little. But always there was a small amount in his heart.

He could also tell his friends were worried about him. Molly would invite him to dinner at least twice a week and Arthur had taken to stopping by to 'say hi'. Harry also came to visit and would sometimes bring Hermione and Ron. They were loud and a distraction but also a quiet reminder. Sometimes Remus would catch himself staring at Hermione, wondering what it was about her face that had drawn him away from his post to follow. He couldn't find the answer anywhere in her features.

But to none of his friends did he express his greatest pain. It was usually late at night, when he could not fall asleep that he would think of Tonks, crying for help as he ran out those front entrance doors. In despair he would turn to his left, hoping that it was all a dream and he would see her side empty. They'd been married less than a year and she had fallen into a routine with him as if they'd been married for many years. He would turn away from the cold side of the bed and happen to see inside the bathroom, where he had thrown her bubblegum pink toothbrush in the trash in a fit of despair and anger. He regretted losing even this small piece of her and so he kept her comb by his bed in hope that the feeling of lose would slowly lessen. Small pink hairs jutted out at odd angles but there were many other colors as well, red and blond and even a blue to match Teddy's locks.

At one point, many weeks after her death, Remus had been cooking banana pancakes, when he suddenly dropped the pan. The earsplitting sound of it hitting the ground made Teddy cry in his highchair but the sound was blocked by his pain and shock. He'd been thinking of Tonks again, her laugh would fill his ears and he could remember the taste of her spaghetti as if she had just cooked it for him last night and yet he realized with cold horror, he could not remember her face. He sprinted out of the kitchen to find a picture of his dead wife as Teddy wailed.

Eventually Remus learned to live again. It was all for Teddy's sake and sometimes Remus wondered if the boy was not in his life, he would've given up completely.

The thought that he would soon need to find work filled him with dread and sorrow. For who would hire a werewolf with severe depression? But his son needed him and the responsibility saved and crushed him in equal parts.

Bit by bit, Remus began to leave the house. Mostly to visit his friends or take his son to Andromeda's for a visit. Sometimes he would take Teddy to Andromeda's and then leave to take Molly up on her dinner invitations. On other occasions he would come to Grimmauld Place, where Harry had finally claimed his inheritance and was living comfortably with Ron and Hermione as roommates.

The house had changed completely since Sirius' death. Kreacher was quite old and yet he looked brighter and cheerier every time Remus saw him. Harry was kind to the old house elf and in return the poor thing had completely changed the place around. The bathrooms shone as bright as any palace washroom and the table was always laden with warm food that rivaled the food at Hogwarts. Kreacher had even given them the secret to removing Mrs. Black's horrible portrait so that eventually even the thought of her walking through these halls was a ridiculous idea. The walls were scrubbed and every trace of Dark magic had been removed. Remus often wished Sirius had had the chance to see it. The place was beautiful.

One morning, in the third week of July, Remus, after dropping off Teddy, knocked on the door to Grimmauld Place before letting himself in. Harry had insisted that Remus could let himself in since it took such a long time for anyone to notice someone at the door, then head down all those stairs to open it. Kreacher popped into view and after bowing lowly, said, "Master Lupin. Master Harry is in the kitchen with Mistress Granger and Master Weasley." Again Remus was struck by the change in Kreacher before thanking the elf and heading to the kitchen at the end of the hall.

As he approached he could hear Hermione's indignant tone and a few chuckles from Ron but not the words being said. Out of politeness, Remus knocked before entering.

"Remus!" Harry said cheerfully. He moved down the bench to make room for Remus before returning to the bowl of cereal in front of him.

"Hello Remus." Hermione said. Remus could still see the magic crackling in her hair and when her incensed gaze fell on him briefly he shuddered. How Ron had enough courage to blatantly laugh at such a fierce witch when she was angry was beyond him. Hermione turned away and immediately began digging into Ron, "You're being stupid, Ronald. Of course, you're returning to Hogwarts! You can't _not_ finish school. The idea is ridiculous!"

Ron rolled his eyes before shoveling a particularly large bite of egg into his mouth. He chewed it for a while, clearly avoiding Hermione's rage. "Listen, I'll be going to Auror Academy. It's not like I'm waffling about."

Remus raised his eyebrows at Harry, who shrugged.

"Harry, back me up on this! An education is invaluable! Tell Ron he can attend Auror school once he's graduated with us."

Harry turned pink around the neck and ears. "Well actually Hermione. I'm going to the... Auror... Academy... as well." Harry said slowly, the look on Hermione's face making him cringe.

"I can't believe this! You're completely wasting your potential! What are you supposed to do if you don't actually like being Aurors! You'll have no Degree and no hope of finding any other job!"  
>Remus quite agreed with Hermione, although he could see why Harry and Ron were so hesitant. They'd all been on the run for the last year, everything they'd learned wouldn't have stuck for so long and with NEWTs constantly on a seventh year's mind, they'd have to worry about relearning everything AND studying for such important exams. He could see Hermione handling such a feat but Ron and Harry were not... quite as gifted in that area.<p>

"Remus. Tell them."

Remus, shoved under the spotlight, blushed and looked at Ron and Harry for help but they were clearly enjoying his discomfort. "Hermione makes excellent points," he said at last.

"Knew we wouldn't get much help from a former teacher." Ron sighed as he finished his eggs in one last, enormous bite that any other human would've split into at least three mouthfuls.

"Ronald, it's not about who's right but what's _smart_. And right now you're both acting like idiots!" Hermione slammed her hand on the table to emphasize her point, making every one's plates jump.

They were all quiet before Hermione sighed and stood, "What would you like for breakfast, Remus?"

"Maybe some cereal would be - "

"I'll get it!" Harry jumped up and ran into the cupboard, clearly trying to get on Hermione's good side again.

The witch was clearly distraught as she sat once more and stared glumly at her plate of Eggs Benedict.

"I don't know why you want to go so badly, they can't even find a DADA teacher, which was the only interesting class... Besides Care of Magical Creatures." Ron smirked and Hermione glared at him.

"There's still a few weeks left," she said, with a slight hesitation as if Ron's words really had worried her.

Harry had returned with a bowl for Remus and as he busied himself pouring the milk, Remus thought.

**Author: writealot******


End file.
